First Published 19 November 2014
HIS Heart to Mine...
In
sharing this piece, I am stepping way out of my comfort zone, but I thought it
might encourage someone else in a struggle… I am an old fashion Baptist
Boy, on the downhill side of my 50’s. I don’t believe God audibly speaks
to men in this Age of Grace, but, I do believe His Spirit comforts and consuls
the Spirit of His Elect. That is the security of a “relationship” with
Him, His signature on our Hearts and Souls… (1 Corinthians 6:20 & Acts 17:11)
God
has allowed me to walk thru some small valleys over the last 30+ months; my
prideful Heart has provided some resistance along the way in His teachable
moments. My human desire to please & seek approval has also allowed
me to take more than my fair share of responsibility for errors and sins in
past situations. I can’t elaborate on this thought, but have learned that
we do well enough in God’s eyes to own up to our own sins without taking on the
responsibility for the sins of others. Carrying our Brother’s Burdens
need not be carrying the weight of their sinful choices; we need just to
provide encouragement for them so that Christ may shine the Light for them to
find The Way. We do need to be the eyes of Christ that they look into at
the moment of Repentance with a tender loving heart and
a shoulder for them to lean on. (Galatians
6:2)
After
a heavy burdened evening with my Lord, this morning on my way into work, I
heard a Hymn on the radio that touched my Heart. Then His Spirit rushed
my Soul with a Peace and Joy that I cannot begin to articulate in words.
His Spirit spoke to my Heart, that He has my back; He will guide, direct and
walk my path with me. To rejoice in all things, and in all things give
Thanks. (1st
Thessalonians 5:16-18)
I am a Technical Analyst; I deal in processes that are Black & White with
known published results. This encounter with Christ is a little out of
the norm for me, but the most real encounter I have ever experienced. I
study the Bible and read tons of commentaries faithfully, but this exceeds and
steps beyond the Biblical academics I have in my head… (Proverbs 3:5)
All
my life, I have tried desperately to be the Rock for my wife and family,
stuffing emotion deep, as they taught us in the U.S. Marine Corps,
compartmentalize that stuff; it gets in the way of sound decisions. I
still believe that to some extent, because the Bible tells us that our emotions
will betray us. (Jeremiah
17:9)
But, God speaks to the Hearts of Men, when they allow themselves to be Broken
and Vulnerable by His Hand. (Psalms
51:17)
Spiritual maturity discerns God’s hand in our lives verses every day
consequences of choices and decisions. I had received news that shook me
to the core, something I once believed, was challenged tearing at the very
fiber of my Heart… I could not academically tear it apart and make sense of
it. Thus; I was broken, I could not use my own sense of deduction to
analyze the problem before me. It had me so tore up, that I sat in tears
for hours, I can’t fix this one, I kept repeating in my mind, I can’t fix this
one…
This
morning – He spoke to my Heart and said, “you’re right RC, you can’t fix
this one, it’s Mine to carry, Mine to resolve - this is Mine, just let go,
Trust Me & Just Let Go”… (Psalms
55:22) I am
sitting in my office here at lunch time with the door closed and tears
streaming down my cheeks as I type this piece. The pain and sting of the
last three years has been lifted, and I have a joy deep inside that I have
absolutely no “human” explanation for. Leading up to this morning, I had
a friend tell me to share with Abba that I was hurt and angry with the
circumstances and consequences I found myself in. Last night, when I
finally realized I can’t resolve this, even though I felt guilty for bringing
it to Him on those terms, I fell on my face and admitted to Him that I was
hurting and a little angry… His answer was, and always will be “I
Love You just the same”… (2nd
Corinthians 9:8)
I
am reminded that God’s Love for us is not conditional; He doesn’t withhold His
Love or Care for us when and if we fail. (Romans 5:8 & 1st John 4:18) When we feel the chastening – of His
Spirit, there is comfort in knowing it is because He Truly Loves those that He
chastens. Grace is a product of Salvation, God’s Promise that even when
we don’t get it right, He has still sealed us through Eternity.
Therefore; we rest in the fact and knowledge that our Eternal address doesn’t
depend on my ability to stay in the lines, it depends solely & completely
in His Holy Word at the moment we Believe, Repent, turn and Follow His
Son. He then begins the process of purging the old man and revealing the
new man He has placed inside every Believer. At the center of this story,
God’s purging or Sanctification of a man’s heart may at times be painful, if we
hold to our past to tightly. As I just heard Alistair Begg say last night
on the Internet, “He is after all a jealous God, not willing to share us with
other priorities in our lives, just as a husband will not share his wife with
others, God wants us to be His alone”… (Exodus 34:14)
When
we place His will first in our lives, which can be discerned by spending time
in His word, He will renew and occupy our Hearts to the point that we will
look different. Different from the man / woman we once were, different to
where people will see the contrast and ask “why”? Thank You Dear Father
for Loving Me an unlovable undesirable man & for sharing your Heart with
mine; those moments spent with You in the last 24
hours gave me my 2nd wind to complete this race…
